10 Toxic Dating App Behaviors to Identify and Avoid
Dating apps can be an unpredictable and tiring experience. While they can lead to genuine relationships and love, they can also expose some concerning behaviors. We’re not referring to innocent quirks like cheesy pickup lines or gym selfies. Deeper than that lie harmful actions that may result in emotional pain, bewilderment, or annoyance.
Anonymity in Dating Apps
The ability to remain anonymous on dating apps can lead individuals to engage in deceptive behaviors such as hiding true intentions, stringing others along, and causing confusion and overwhelm, according to Claudia de Llano, LMFT.
Impact on Self-Worth
Such behaviors can be traumatic and make individuals question their self-worth, especially if they encounter them repeatedly, notes Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist.
Identifying Red Flags
Whether you are searching for a soulmate or casually exploring the dating scene, it is crucial to be aware of potential red flags that may indicate problematic behavior.
Dating App Red Flags to Be Aware Of
While engaging with individuals on dating apps and arranging meetups, it’s crucial to be mindful of these concerning behaviors that may indicate a lack of compatibility and long-term potential.
Ghosting
Ghosting, defined as abruptly ceasing all communication without explanation, can be likened to someone disappearing like a ghost after weeks of chatting or dating.
Experiencing ghosting can be deeply upsetting, leaving one feeling rejected, confused, and questioning their actions. When ghosted, individuals may feel undervalued by the lack of closure or explanation provided by the other person, according to Dr. Romanoff.
Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing refers to the act of leading someone on by providing just enough attention to keep them interested, without ever committing to a real relationship.
This behavior often involves sending flirtatious messages or liking social media posts sporadically, but when it comes to making actual plans, the person may conveniently forget or cancel at the last minute.
Dealing with breadcrumbing can be incredibly frustrating as it leaves you uncertain about where you stand in the relationship. The inconsistent attention can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, where the fleeting moments of contact create false hope, ultimately leading to wasted emotional energy on a situation that is unlikely to progress.
Love Bombing
Love bombing occurs when an individual inundates you with excessive displays of affection, flattery, and commitments early on in order to swiftly establish trust.
For instance, if someone you have recently connected with online persistently showers you with praises, overwhelms you with gifts, declares their love for you, and discusses a future together.
Although initially appearing flattering, love bombing is a deceptive strategy utilized for gaining control that often results in emotional manipulation or disillusionment when the person abruptly withdraws.
Benchwarming
Benchwarming occurs when someone keeps you as a backup option while focusing on others more seriously.
For instance, this individual may only send you occasional texts, typically when they have free time or when their main focus is not around.
This conduct can lead you to feel unappreciated, as though you are not important but merely a temporary stand-in in their romantic endeavors.
Ghost-Lighting
Ghost-lighting, a phenomenon that combines ghosting and gaslighting, occurs when someone suddenly disappears from your life and then reappears later as if nothing happened.
They may be absent for a significant period and then return without acknowledging their absence, acting puzzled when you try to address it.
Experiencing this behavior can lead you to feel manipulated and doubt your own understanding of the situation.
Cheating
Unfortunately, some individuals engage in infidelity by using dating apps while already in committed relationships, which constitutes cheating.
They might claim to be single when, in reality, they are using the app without their partner’s knowledge.
Such actions are deceitful and show a lack of respect towards both their current partner and the individual they are interacting with.
Negging
Negging involves giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults.
For example, someone may say they like your outfit but follow it up with a comment like, “It’s a little outdated, but you still manage to look good in it.”
Negging is a form of emotional abuse that can gradually erode your self-esteem and create feelings of insecurity.
Catfishing
Catfishing is the act of creating a fake persona to deceive someone, whether through a fake profile or pretending to be someone else.
This deceptive practice can involve using heavily edited photos that do not accurately represent the person, falsely claiming to have a profession they do not, or assuming a completely different identity altogether.
The consequences of falling victim to catfishing can lead to questioning one’s judgment, undermining the ability to choose a partner, eroding trust in others, and avoiding emotional vulnerability in future relationships, as explained by Dr. Romanoff.
Trolling
Trolling refers to the deliberate act of provoking, insulting, or upsetting someone with the sole purpose of eliciting a reaction.
In the context of dating apps, trolling may include sending disrespectful messages, making offensive comments about a profile, sharing inappropriate jokes, or sending suggestive images.
Trolling can have a profound impact, causing feelings of humiliation, attack, and even a sense of being unsafe.
Bullying
Cyberbullying can take place on various digital platforms, including dating apps. Unfortunately, bullying on dating apps is quite common and typically occurs early on, according to Dr. Romanoff.
It may involve harassment, insults, or comments intended to diminish one’s self-esteem.3
Encountering dating-related trauma can give dating apps a negative, frightening, and unsafe perception.
Bullying can lead individuals to feel significant shame, according to Dr. Romanoff. “In such instances, they tend to keep their experiences to themselves, deepening their connection with the bully and making it more difficult to break away.”
If you are facing bullying or abuse, it is crucial to confide in a trusted individual, seek support, and ensure your safety, as stated by de Llano.
Keep in Mind
At the end of the day, online dating platforms present a variety of experiences, some good and some not so good. While you cannot control the actions of others, you can control how you react. It is crucial to recognize your self-worth and demand respect. Establish clear boundaries, use dating apps wisely, prioritize your safety, and safeguard your well-being above all else. Do not settle for anything less than what you deserve.
